THE GREAT PURGE

I'm a little bit of a pack rat.

That's an understatement.

I'm somewhere between a pack rat and a hoarder.  I have lots of stuff, but no dead cats under my couch. I also have a pretty small apartment, so things were getting kind of cramped.

I had a beautiful bridal shower and I received beautiful things for my home.  As I was unpacking and putting away my gifts, I realized I have TOO MUCH STUFF.  So, in April the GREAT PURGE began.  I started in the kitchen, boxing up mismatched dishes, glasses emblazoned with various beer logos, and plastic handled silverware. I threw out *stuff* that should have been thrown out long ago.

As I moved through the house, I got rid of broken Christmas decorations, cracked laundry baskets, dried up pens. I gave away books and magazines.  I trashed a huge collection of gift bags (why was I holding on to those?).  I've donated a ridiculous amount of shoes, and tossed flops that have lost their flip into the dumpster.

I have clothes ranging from size 4-26 in my bedroom.  Clothes were everywhere.  Some things I gave to family members.  Some things went to Purple Heart, others went to a St. Jude donation box.  A box of nice dress pants is riding around in my car, waiting to be mailed to North Carolina. Now, everything fits into slightly overflowing drawers, or my closet.  I still have some work to do.  I have a HUGE reusable shopping bag that I'm keeping near the dryer, and filling up with clothing that no longer fits or I like.  When the bag fills up, I donate.

When I first started THE GREAT PURGE, getting rid of things left me nervous and anxious. After a few weeks, getting rid of things made me feel like a huge weight was lifted off of me.  It's so much easier to keep an uncluttered space tidy.  I'm going to continue working on this through the summer - I'm hoping that it will keep getting easier.

'Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful'. - William Morris

Current Obsessions

Stuff I like right now, in no particular order.

• Summer vacation
• Victoria's Secret Love Bitten
• Sally Hanson Salon Effects
• St. Ives Firming Body Lotion
• French braids
• Sundresses
• Lemonade
• Tervis tumblers
• Swimming pools
• Strawberries
• Sweet thank you notes from students and their families
• Bikinis
• Flip flops
• My Princess Kate inspired ring from my hubs
• Not being around children unless I choose to be
• The beach
• Girlfriend time
• Fat free French Vanilla Coffee Creamer
• Redbox

One year ago today...

One year ago today, I spent my Grandaddy's last day on Earth with him.  I rubbed his legs, sang him songs, and tried to encourage him to drink.  That evening, his sick body couldn't take anymore, and he passed on from this world to the next.

I read this at his funeral.

I can't really write anything else.  I just do my best every day to make him as proud of me as I was of him.

Peaceful...

The contrast between my kindergarten students today, and my students the week before winter break was startling. It's amazing- we can sit, we can attend to a task, we can use a QUIET, INDOOR VOICE! (We can also fall asleep after lunch.  Heck no I didn't wake them up - are you crazy?)

Even the wild ones of my wild bunch were on point today.  One exception, but he doesn't deal well with disruptions in his routine, so it will take him a few days to readjust to being in school.

From what I hear, it will stay this way for the rest of the school year.  My babies are growing up! (Fingers crossed!)

My Family Gets It...

Jacket, socks, shoes, Under Armour, Garmin.. my family GETS IT.

Naturally I had to run last night to test all of this out.  My fiancé said "Call me if you get cold and need a pick up."  Later, he told me he was happy I had a hobby that made me so happy and healthy.

What a year it has been!

Merry Christmas or happy Chinese food and movie day to you!

Weight loss... in pictures!

A picture is worth a thousand words. Here's a few thou for ya!

Before. Obviously.  Size 22.  June 2008

After! Size 6, post reindeer race 11/10! 65 pounds gone!

Nice little side by side comparison after 45 pound loss.

If I'm funny.. no one will notice that I'm fat.

Donated this swimsuit yesterday!  Isn't that an oddly placed roll?
It's gone!

He has ALWAYS made me feel beautiful, no matter my size!

Size 12, getting there!  I felt so good about myself when this was taken!
June 2010

Size 10/12, midsummer 2010

Size 10 jeans! August 2010

Size 8/10, October 2010.  Never would I EVER have worn leggings!

New me.. so happy!

Thankful

2010 was a difficult year.

That is probably the understatement of the century.

However, instead of wallowing in the badness - I rose above! I'm really proud to be able to look back and see how I've been able to find healthy, productive ways to deal.

My beloved grandfather passed away in February.  Exactly one month later, my fiancés father was found dead in his home. He was only 58, and it was completely unexpected.  I'm so proud that I was strong for Mike and his 18 year old sister, while being able to support my mother (she had a really difficult time with my grandfather's passing.)  I'm amazed that I was able to deal with the police, medical examiners, out of town family, make funeral arrangements. That seems like something for REAL adults to do - I'm not one of them yet!

We also lost Mike's mom's twin... at this point the losses just seem like rubbing salt into a very raw wound.

That series of events through MANY things into my life into a tailspin.  Some are really personal, and not blog fodder, but know that March, April, May, June, and July were ugly, ugly times. We made our engagement official in May (yay!) and that little ray of sunshine helped to get me through.

I was very unhappy in my previous job (as earlier postings show), but instead of feeling bad for myself (well... I did that a bit too) I made moves.  Changed to a new school in a new city teaching a new grade.  I was TERRIFIED, but I did it!

In the midst of all of this - I lost 65 pounds.  I am a runner, and I think that is definitely part of what has kept me sane.  The alone time with nature, time to think, time to process has really helped.  I'm reaching goals, reaching them, and setting new ones. I always wanted to be a runner - and now I am one!  I've stepped out of my box to try new activities like boot camp, Zumba, and kickboxing.  I got up on a rainy Thanksgiving morning to run a 5k?  WHO AM I?

I am Bonnie! I am strong - physically and emotionally. This year (the past 7 years, really) has been so hard, but my growth has been nothing short of phenomenal. I know of at least two other people that have undertaken weight loss journeys thanks to my example.

 I think about my grandfather, and I hope I make him proud. I think of Mike's dad, and I hope he sees me taking care of his children.

I know 2011 will bring more joy and more pain.  I'm not scared.  I'm ready for what comes my way, and I know where to turn for support when I need it.  And of course, I will keep running!